As some of you know I took a temporary full time position to work outside the home. Now, I haven’t really worked outside the home since our first was born over 5 years ago. I did work very casually on the weekends when my husband was home a few years ago, but that’s been it. We figured that if I didn’t HAVE to, then why should I?
We have never had to have childcare.
I just never wanted to miss anything.
I wanted to be there when the boys hit different milestones in their young lives.
I wanted to be there to go to the zoo during the week when the other kiddos were in school.
I wanted just to be a MOM. A stay at home mom. Well, a work at home mom.
So, now that I have experienced what it’s like to be a ‘Working Mom’ … I guess I am able to compare the two. I will say that I went in to this position knowing it was going to end in roughly 8 weeks, I was able to accept that I was leaving our boys with someone else. I knew it was going to end and that it wasn’t a forever thing. So, in saying that, I can honestly say it wasn’t that bad and I am probably going to do it next year again.
Now, I know that there is so much out there about Working Moms vs Stay at Home Moms {SAHM}, but for me, I’m not one to say that one is better than the other. There are certainly challenges in either role. It’s really what works for your family. For us, our number one priority is our boys and their well being. Of course, I know that they’re safe when they’re at home with me {well, most days LOL}. Deciding to go back to work really depended on if we could get the sitter we wanted for our boys. No joke, before I even made the call about the job, I called her to see if she would be able to watch the boys for the time I was to be at work. She said YES, so I went forward. So, I knew our boys were safe and being watched by someone who truly has their best interests in mind. Our boys really enjoyed going to her home and playing with her children and being part of their lives too. I do think it was probably a very good experience for them. But again, I say this as I knew the job was temporary. Being a SAHM has it’s definite challenges, but I don’t think I would change it. I love being with our boys. I could go on and on about it, but I won’t because I would probably bore you to tears or tell you stuff that you probably already know. Again, I feel that have being in both roles, I am glad to be returning to the SAHM role.
I have missed our boys terribly during the day while I was at work. It was ALWAYS nice to come back and pick them up. To hold them in my arms and kiss their faces {even though they pushed away from me … boys at this age don’t want to be kissed in public by their momma}. There have been so many things that I truly missed doing with them during the day. I have missed the morning cuddles while we watched their favourite morning shows. I have missed watching them play and ride their bikes. {did I mention our young 3 year old is riding his bike withOUT training wheels … I did get to watch that for the first time!} I’ve missed our daily routine, I guess. I have missed our oldest losing his 2 first teeth … but it’s not the end of the world. It’s only temporary … and he has a lot more teeth to lose!
I’m not sure if I would be as accepting of working outside the home in a permanent full time position. The temporary part has been key for me and was really one of the reasons I did it.
Sure, it’s been nice to have some extra money.
It’s been nice to see different parts of the city and state that I wouldn’t have normally seen.
It has been nice to drive and listen to just the roar of the car’s engine only … and not the ruckus of 2 boys in the back or the DVD that they want to watch.
It’s been nice to dress up every day.
It’s been nice to interact with others in my field again and to read and decipher charts {use my brain in a different way}.
It has been nice to use my 4 year college degree again.
But, the real NICE part is that it’s coming to an end and I get to take my boys to preschool again … I get to be a full time stay at home Mom again.
{oh, and catch up on housework, the joy!}
Hope I didn’t blabber too much. I have a habit of going off on tangents and jumping around {definitely not an English major}. Thank you for letting me share and getting my thoughts out there.
I’m not much of a journal kind of gal, but I think this post is really going to be one that I will re-visit in years to come and be glad I recorded my thoughts.
xo Tara
center>
a href="http://alittleknickknack.blogspot.com" target="_blank">
I thoroughly enjoyed your “blabberings”! LOL! Staying at home is such a SWEET JOB and just like you, I want to experience ALL of my son by being their every step of the way – God willing. I’m glad you were able to see the benefits and negatives on both sides of the track. Both SAHMs and working moms should be honored for what they do. Motherhood is definitely praiseworthy! And let’s not forget those hubbies that have our back. Here’s a hand clap for them too.
-Nikki Ace
http://aceofsahms.wordpress.com/
Hi Nikki!
Thanks for commenting and saying that you enjoyed my ‘blabberings’ … LOL! Motherhood is certainly a whole different world that I had no idea when I entered it how it would really change my life. I don’t think my husband was prepared for how motherhood would change his life too {having to listen to me talk about it}. Parenthood is really wonderful and as each challenge appears, we take it in and work with it.
xo Tara
You don’t know how much I needed to read this post today! I threw myself a bit of a pity party yesterday about the same thing and after having a conversation with my husband last night about feeling like a failure…I look at being a SAHM in a whole new perspective.
We made the decision years ago for me to stay home with the kids. A decision I have never regretted. I have always said I would go back to work eventually and some things have changed recently that might push that eventually farther out. I guess that got me thinking. I have a college degree, I always knew what I wanted in a career and then…well, I got married, had kids and things changed…fast! I guess I felt like my plans, dreams and college degree were being thrown away. It took my husband telling me how proud he is that I can stay home and raise our children, how when he goes to work he knows they are safe, and that I am far from a failure, I am special and lucky to be able to do that in this day and age… to really make me stop and think.
So I have realized that plans change, dreams evolve and I was meant to be doing exactly what I am. Eventhough my kiddos are getting older, they need me more know (eventhough they won’t admit it) than they did when they were 3 or 5. I am lucky enough to have this opportunity and I am embracing it. Now…if I could only get the housekeeping part down, I will finally feel successful.
Thanks for sharing…and listening to me. It really helped reading this…knowing someone else out there knows where I am coming from.
Tracy,
You about made me cry reading your comment {but I was in a restaurant sitting by myself during my lunch break at work}, but I didn’t want to seem like a total weirdo … sitting in a booth, by myself, crying as I’m reading my phone … ah, what a picture.
Well, thank you for commenting. It means a lot to me that other moms are going through the same challenges as I am. Sometimes blogging really does make it okay! At times, I sure do feel alone, but of course, I know I’m certainly not. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and dreams with me!
xo Tara
Hats off to all stay at home moms